She jokes
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Your momma's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.