Sexuality jokes

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?

Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.

Digging stuff up is too hard.

I guess necrophilia isn’t for everybody.

I like my men how I like my coffee...

WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.

People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A stego-sore-ass.

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?

A: A beaver dam.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.

What is gay - curious 🤔 😳

👬 👬 a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a 👨 👩 👨 bisexual man.

👨 👨 👩 🚲 🚲 🚲 does it cycle now?

🚲 🚲 🚲

😢 😔 sorry for your luck 🍯 honey it sucks 😪 😞 😒 to be you.

Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?

So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.

What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?

A byebyesexual.

An old man goes to a church and is making a confession:

Man: "Father, I am 75 years old. I have been married for 50 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I was intimate with an 18-year-old."

Father: "When was the last time you made a confession?"

Man: "I never have, I am Jewish."

Father: "Then why are telling me all this?"

Man: "I’m telling everybody!"

The only thing I do straight is vodka.