Old Person jokes

Why don’t old people have sex?

When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?

Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!

What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?

One lasts long and another doesn't.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.

I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.

The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.

The man asks, "Is it your first time?"

The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."