Sex jokes
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?
They blow themselves up.
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?
"Goodnight, Mom!"
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.