Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Sex Jokes
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
I suck dick.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
Why does it take longer for women to orgasm than men?
Who cares?
*funny joke about dicks*
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
How can you tell if your sister is on her period?
Your father's dick tastes funny.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?
Really?
Well, the one I fucked did.
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Anal.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
