New Sex Jokes - Page 62 - Worst Jokes Ever

A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar.

“May I smoke a cigar?” asks Johnny.

The grandpa replies, “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”

Johnny replied, “No,” and left the room.

The next day Johnny sees his grandpa getting into a car.

“Can I drive the car?” asks Johnny.

“Does your dick touch your asshole?”

“No.”

The day after that, Grandpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.

“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” asked the grandpa.

“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”

“Yep.”

“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."

How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?

You can't get either one at home.

What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

They become in-bread.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.

My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?

Anal, haha.

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

Indian porn

Ooooh oooh oooh

Baaaaaa

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.