Sex jokes
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
I just had sex.
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
What's the difference between anal and oral sex?
An and Or!
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
My cock, lmao.
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Swallow cum, not gum.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.