What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
Sex Jokes
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
So, no head?
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Why did the two balls cross the road?
To get to the penis!
Sorry, too rude?
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
F*ck me!
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
