New Sex Jokes - Page 53 - Worst Jokes Ever

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Fuck 'em.

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.

I eat dick.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

Q: What’s the hardest thing about fucking a dude with a dildo?

A: Making sure he doesn’t wake up.

My woman told me that she wants to have sex with me, and I said, "Let's go at it." She said, "Shut up and kiss me on all my pillows."

As a little boy, I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me, "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked, "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."

You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)

If Donald Trump had sex with an orange, guess what his son would be?

An orange tree! :>

GF: Laying down.

BF: GROANING

GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?

BF: Yeah, why?

GF: Shoot that did in there.

BF: Mmmhuugh

Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?

Because they have cancer.

I think my penis has facial recognition.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

...Full!

A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.

The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"