Sex jokes
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.
Sheshpal Choudhary, Bijnor, UP 6395832240
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Now from the top, make it drop, that's a WAP, that's a WAP.
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
It was pornography class, and there was a break.
Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says...
Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!
Adult 1: How about I say my ABC's?
Teacher: Go ahead, I guess...
Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Where's the D?
Adult 2: Inside me...
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
How to get your woman to come upstairs? Say you are naked.
What day can you have sex on?
Answer: Wednesday. Why? Because it's hump day.
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
I don't know why my boyfriend's dad doesn't like me. Maybe because we had sex?
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.