Sex jokes
What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute only has one crack, and has to wash it and sell it again.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What’s one thing you can say at a funeral and during sex?
She was too young.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!