Sex jokes
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you do after fucking the loosest pussy ever?
Close the casket.
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
What do the initials UAW stand for?
United Awesome Whores.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
The woman was thinking she wanted to have sex, but one second later, she did it on the street with a criminal.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What comes after 69?
Period.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.