Sex jokes
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?
The pussies are limited edition.
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.