Sex jokes
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.
It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
Roblox Brookhaven be like:
"ABC if you wanna be adopted."
"ABC if you wanna be my friend."
"ABC if you wanna be a banker."
"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."
"ABC if you wanna date."
"ABC if you wanna sex."
Wait, this is the category "dick." Sorry yours isn't long for yo mama to get fucked up.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!