Sex jokes
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
Consent before sex is a joke. It's just politically correct feminazi propaganda.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?
"Aye-jack-you-late!"
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you donât need a partner.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didnât want them.
Wouldnât want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA