Sex jokes
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Suck my pp!
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
What is the definition of fellatio?
Auto masturbation.
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?