September

September Jokes

9/11

I'm writing a movie about 9/11. It's called "September 11th Two Thousand Fun."

Birthday

What is the worst thing about your birthday being on September 11?

Party crashers.

Child

Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?

A: What.

Similarity

What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center?

They both fall in September.

Cake

For my birthday on Sept. 11 this year, I just want a plane chocolate cake.

Team

"Chelsea is the most consistent team.

One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.

If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅

Birthday

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Toe

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

Plane Crash

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

Work

It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

Labor Day

Me: September is here!

[Labor Day comes]

Also me (ft. Green Day): “Wake me up when September ends!”

People

People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

God

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

Tower

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

Body

Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.