Self-esteem jokes

I love my name.

Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!

Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.

What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?

A girl actually dates the paper.

You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

You are so ugly, when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

Your forehead is so big, it makes Kanye's ego look small.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."

So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"

And then she died.

Kid: You're so fat!

Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.

This joke is short... like your dick!