Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
If I were an object in this world, I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days, I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me....
You think my face is ugly? Yours is more.
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister.
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
Your hairline is so back it's not even a hairline cuz you're bald. LOL
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
