Like if you have balls.
Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”
Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”
Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”
Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
I'm not a failure. Suuuurrrre.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.
my worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
if someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, your the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY
