Confidence jokes
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
Do you think I can shoot a basketball?
I make it dip like water.
Your hairline is an artificial fact.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
I am a beautiful person.
Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
Your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldn't fix it.
I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”