Self-esteem jokes
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.
Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"
Violets are red, so is your face. I thought I was ugly, but then I saw you.
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, there's always someone who's better than you.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Why don't you have a life?
Because you're ugly.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face.