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Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
Q: Wanna see something funny?
A: Sure.
*bomb Florida*
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
You're gay if you see this.