A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"
See Jokes
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?
They're out of plane sight.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until they see their parents.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.
Stupid Mary Jane was swinging on the swing.
Her momma said, "Stupid Mary Jane, don't swing so high, the boys will see your underwear!"
Stupid Mary Jane laughed and laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing no underwear.
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!
