Sea jokes

What can fly underwater?

A mosquito in a submarine.

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.

How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.

What do you call the midget sea?

A pond.

We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.

I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"

I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.

Knock knock. Hus dare? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the window and you'll see.

Wee snaw.

There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.

The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”

What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?

"Go fuck yourself... at the bottom of the sea."

What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.