What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
A... B... Sea?
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
The Arabian Sea is in which state?
Liquid.
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
What do you call a rejected guitarist who now lives on the beach?
A sea minor.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
What did the sea do when it saw the beach?
It waved!
