Scream jokes
What music scares balloons?
Pop music.
Why would the banana scream "ouch?"
Because it is getting peeled.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Memes
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.