Scream jokes

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

Baby: Stroll?

Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!

Baby: *happily screams*

Stroller: *front wheels break off*

Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!

Baby: Oka- CRASH!

Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.

God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.

People of Earth: *running and screaming*

Santen: *to God* Really?

I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.

I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

Ice cream is just like I scream.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

What's the difference between a pizza & a person?

A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...