Scream jokes
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.
Memes
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.