Science jokes
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
Person: Because he felt it in his bones?
Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's toes on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Stephen Hawking would be a bad Pokemon.
He'd always be paralyzed, and his only move would be tackle!
Don't trust atoms... They make up stuff.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.