Science jokes
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
Memes
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
He's in a wheelchair.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."