Science jokes
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
He's in a wheelchair.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.
Stephen Hawking's death was because he lost WiFi connection.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.