Science jokes

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”

The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because of gravity.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.

Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

He's in a wheelchair.

Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?

He couldn't get up the kerb.

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

What did Stephen Hawking say when trying to talk to a reporter? Beep boop beep beep boop.

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

What was wrong with Stephen Hawking? His legs.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

I don't know, go google it.