Science jokes
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
He's in a wheelchair.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊