Science jokes
HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
ElectroBOOM is a SHOCKING YouTuber! (I can't believe he is still alive!)
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
Science gets you to the moon.
Religion flies you into buildings.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Stephen Hawking died when he ran out of data for the month.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?
He can’t walkie or talkie.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!