School jokes
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
Cheap oil, no immigration, and no school shootings.
Corona did what Trump promised.
How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.
I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
my teacher with every one for no reason
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Maths...
....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What are the best shooting ranges in America?
Schools.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."