
School jokes
Why doesn't Laila in UHS need an insult?
Have a look at her face!
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
How did the orphan go to school?
Not by his parents.
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get DE-GREEZ.
Why did Sally decide to fly to school?
She couldn't drive.
There was a kid at school. He was reading a book and he came across a phrase. It was "purple pation." He went to his teacher and asked what it meant. His teacher said, "What the actual hell? Get the hell out of my class and go to the principal's office!" The principal said, "It's okay, it was probably a mistake. I will clean this all up. In the meantime, what's the phrase?" He says, "Purple pation." His principal stares at him for about 3 seconds, then says, "Get the hell out of my school. You are expelled!" He ran 7 miles to his dad's office crying all the way. He went to his dad and explained how his teacher kicked him out of the class and the principal expelled him. His dad said, "Calm down, I will clean this all up," and he said, "That's what the principal said. He said, 'I will clean it up'." He said, "OK, the phrase is 'purple pation'." His dad said, "I hate you, get out of my office. I don't want to see you again." He ran down crying to his house. He explained what happened. His mom said the same thing as everyone else, so he explains the phrase. His mom kicks him out of the house, and he ran down to the park crying. An old lady said, "What's wrong?" He explained what's happening. Then she says, "Well, what's the phrase?" He says, "Purple pation." The old lady said, "See that house across the street? That's my house. Come over in about 30 min and I will explain." He says, "Thank you." It was the longest 30 min of his life. He sprints across the street and gets hit by a bus.
Sorry guys ;)
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
What do you call a school bus driver that cannot walk? A silly school bus driver!
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CABULARY!
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?
Homecoming.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
