School jokes

Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

The worst joke ever.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.

People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.

What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂

What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?

The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?

Shooting up schoolchildren.

I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.

I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"

What song do you think was playing at the school?

"Pumped Up Kicks"

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!

There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.

They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."

"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.