School jokes
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
Miss Drake, can I go to the bathroom? I need to piss.
"Billy, we don't say piss. We say urinate. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Miss Drake."
"Very well. Now use the word urinate in a sentence."
"Miss Drake, urinate, but if you had any tits you'd be a ten."
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
What do feminists and dogs share in common? They need to be taken to obedience school.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.