School jokes
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
My grades.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
I thought of telling my teachers that I am transgender so I get to wear my AirPods in class.
Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
Dumb kid: What does homework mean?
Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?
Me:
"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.
Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
Why did everyone dislike Little Johnny at school?
'Cause he pierced everyone's livers with a .357 magnum.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
What is the difference between a human being in the car with the snow and a tree and a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your name on it haha 😂 day a day I was thinking of a good
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
What is the difference between the human and a human and walk home walk and walk walk home and walk walk home from school?