School

School jokes

Nut

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

Number

During school today, a girl gave my friend her number. When I saw it, it was the principal's number.

Kid

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Sister

"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."

"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"

Alphabet

He entered (kindergarten) class. The teacher said, "Luce, start for us and say the alphabet." He said, "A B C D E F G H I J K *just kidding* L M N O." Laugh my nose off. The teacher said, "Go to the office right now, young man!" I don't understand, he just said jokes to the teacher, lmao :D

Crash

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.

Remote

Why did the school go remote?

Because the teachers wanted to play with remotes!

Asthma

Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."

Gym Teacher: "That's alright."

Other Kid: "Hush!"

Wheelchair

I got sent to the principal's office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Teacher

I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

Kid

What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?

Joshua Metcalfe