School jokes
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Memes
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it has many problems.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
Can teachers give homework to orphans?
Why do orphans love school?
'Cause people actually come back.
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
Why do gay people get bad grades?
Because they don't get straight A's.
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.