School jokes

My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...

Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get DE-GREEZ.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

Why are most school shooters mostly white?

Because Black lives MATTER.

You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.

School's being safe.

School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it has many problems.

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

Why do orphans love school?

'Cause people actually come back.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

Why do gay people get bad grades?

Because they don't get straight A's.

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

Can teachers give homework to orphans?

Teacher: "Stand up, class!"

She is sitting down.

Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"