
School jokes
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.
Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.
And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
"Sing in music lesson"
"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."
I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.
Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get DE-GREEZ.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?
Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?
Because they can't be home schooled.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
What is 9+9? 18.
What is 9+10? 19.
What is 9+11? -2996.
What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.
Why do orphans love school?
'Cause people actually come back.
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.
