School jokes

Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

Teacher: Why?

Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.

Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

My teacher: Oliver will be transitioning.

Me: tRaNsItIoNiNg!!!!

My teacher: He will be transitioning from primary school to secondary school.

Me: I thought you meant another transitioning...

What games do bats like to play at recess?

Why do orphans have to be homeschooled?

Because they can't be home schooled.

Me: Knock, knock.

Teacher: Who is there?

Me: Boo.

Teacher: Boo who?

Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!

Teacher: ......

Me: Aw man, detention again.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

What is 9+9? 18.

What is 9+10? 19.

What is 9+11? -2996.

Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone and the speed bump starts screaming?

Why was the math book sad at the rapper?

Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.

I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.

My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.

And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"

I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

Josh: Cookies.

Jacob: My parents.

Erika: My Friends!

Brody: Lamborghinis.

Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?