School jokes

Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.

"I don't want to go on my at-home history."

- My friend, anon 2019.

What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

A school bus filled with children.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brother's room and catches him watching something, so he asks, "What you watching?" His brother replies, "Nothing," and drops his phone. But then he gets a text from his teacher, who texted him a picture of her naked, saying, "After school come fuck me." So Johnny looks and says, "Ew, I'm telling Mom," and he ran with his brother's phone and showed his mom, and his mom said, "Ok, Johnny, I'll take care of you brother," and she told him to leave, and he did.

And his brother ran in his mom's room naked, and his mom said, "Oh, that's big. How about you do what your teacher told you to do to her, to me?" And a few hours later, Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room, so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex, so he closed the door and walked away.

My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

Why do orphans love school?

'Cause people actually come back.

Why do gay people get bad grades?

Because they don't get straight A's.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

I fell in love with my teacher.

Which is weird because I am home schooled.

Can teachers give homework to orphans?

Why are most school shooters mostly white?

Because Black lives MATTER.

Why was the American kid late to school?

Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

Why did the math book look so sad?

Because it has many problems.

After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.

School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.

Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.