School jokes

Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA!

A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?

What is the difference between a tree and a school?

A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.

What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!

Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?

I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"

A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Why can’t an orphan go on a field trip?

'Cause they need a parent's signature.

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."

An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊

When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.

What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.

What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.