School jokes
Why does the emo kid skip class?
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?
Because he had no-BODY to go with!
I give homework.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
They don't have anybody to sign the form.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
What is an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Her (DYM 101).
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
Me: Mrs., can I read my book?
Teacher: Sure.
Me: *watching my Chromebook*