School jokes

Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.

Why did the students eat their homework?

Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!

What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.

We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.

I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

Who is the smartest student in school?

The scholar.

Why did the orphan have to stay at school?

Because they need to leave with a parent.

Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

300? You are a 3.0.

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.