School jokes

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?

"Wow, Harry!"

Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.

Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

Why are my students so naughty?

Why does the emo kid skip class?

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.

How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.

300? You are a 3.0.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

Why can orphans never go on field trips?

Because they can’t get a parent signature.

When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"

Me: "Oh hell nah"

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."