School jokes
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
Why are my students so naughty?
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."
Why does the emo kid skip class?
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
300? You are a 3.0.
Why can orphans never go on field trips?
Because they can’t get a parent signature.
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
What is an orphan's favorite event?
Homecoming.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.