School jokes

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

They need a parent's signature.

At school, I love to have fun!

Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?

Person B: Let me check.

Person B: It's greenglish!

Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?

A: Because they don't have any parents.

Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?

Because he had no-BODY to go with!

The USA has school shootings. We Canadians have bus beheadings.

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Why did the rapper become an archaeologist?

Because he wanted to dig for old-school beats!

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.

They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!

It's often said that people peaked in high school.

I think Trump peaked in kindergarten.

Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.

One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.

The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"

Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”

Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.

Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"

The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

Sally: "You..."

Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

Johnny: "A pig."

Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"

Why did the pedophile cross the road?

Because there was a school on the other side.

What's that stupid girl in your class called?

Thot.

Teacher: “Alright, we’re going to play Kahoot! Please use your real name.”

That one kid putting Joe: -_-

Teacher: Who’s Joe?

The whole class: JOE MAMA!