School jokes
I put the D in Children.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*
Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.
Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.
And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
Type this in your calculator:
5 days a week (type in 5),
6 different classes (type in 6),
7 hours a day (type in 7),
x
2 semesters (type in 2),
=
flip the calculator over ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Q: What kind of paper towel do they use in special education classrooms?
A: Downey.