School jokes

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Dear algebra,

I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

"Have fun at school night" is what?

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

A suicide squad.

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.