School jokes

High school students are also more interesting to see, but they are you on your way. Just kidding! 🤣

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

"Have fun at school night" is what?

Dear algebra,

I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

What's a bonus of being an orphan?

You can't get homework.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?

A: To shoot up the whole school.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.