School jokes
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
Why is 6 scared of 7?
7 ate 9 and 10!
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Pro lifers: End abortion!!!
Pro lifers after school shooting: But not this abortion.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
Why are my students so naughty?
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.
Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."