School jokes
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."
Student: "I need that."
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
What do you call a high school student?
Alone and depressed.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
One day, I came home from school and said to my dad, "I got expelled from school today." He said, "How?" I said, "I threw my book at the teacher." He asked, "Why?" I told him, "We were doing an anti-bullying program, and my teacher said words can't hurt me, so I threw my dictionary at her."
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
Because there was a school on the other side.
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.