School jokes

I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

One of the students reported a school shooting.

That fucking snitch...

There was a kidnapping at school.

Don't worry, he woke up.

Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!

A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,

"It's an elevator, not a lift!"

and

"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"

He keeps going on until the Englishman says,

"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."

When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.

Oof.

I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

What's that stupid girl in your class called?

Thot.

Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?

Dumb kid: The W???

I will always remember the last noise I hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf***ers," click, boom!

Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.

Dear algebra,

I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.

Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.

I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?

A: The honor roll.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

When you kill people in a war, it's perfectly fine, but when it's a school, everyone has a problem with it, wth.

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?