School jokes
When the school shooter is just about to leave your classroom, and you think you're in the clear, but the Down syndrome kid says, "Goodbye."
My grades.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil? That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
One of the students reported a school shooting. That fucking snitch...
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
What's that stupid girl in your class called?
Thot.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???