School jokes
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
Why couldn't the bicycle stand? It was two tired...
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
York High School is the best school ever!
Yo mama so old, she was in third grade with Moses.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
Where do pedophiles go hunting?
Elementary schools.
you.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Little girls are like basic math. If they're under 13, you do them in your head.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.