Say jokes
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Trump, must I say more?
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.