Say jokes
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over!
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "I gagged."
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”
What does Helen Keller say when she touches a basketball?
Duhhuuughhhr.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.