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What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?
A doggone catastrophe!
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
If someone wears black, say, "If you see someone wears black, they always be emo."
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
What to say to a single guy who's insulting you: "Shut up, you horny virgin!"
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?
"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
What did the mic say to the rapper?
"Don’t DROP me, bro!"
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.
The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."
The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."
Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."