Say jokes

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

It says in the Bible to only think about what’s pure and lovely... So I’ve been thinking about you all day long.

What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?

A fine addition to my erection.

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

What did the orphan say to the other? "Quick, Robin, to the Batmobile!"

A Roman guy walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Can I have 5 beers please?"

What did the feather say to his wife?

You light my day.

tbh, I was not even talking to you guys. I was talking to the funny jokes about Ariana, and people were saying she was adopted, so, tbh, fuck off!

A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

What did the swearing hen say?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

What did the cussing rooster say?

"Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"

What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?

"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"

Why did the lion say, "I'm faster than you," to the cheetah?

Because it was Halloween!

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

Teacher: Go through the ABCs in pre-school.

Me: Hey, teacher, omae wa mou shindeiru!

Teacher: NANI!?!?

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭