Say jokes

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

What did the orphan say to the adopter?

Nothing, he just stared.

What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?

Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

Do they say you are what you eat?

That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.

When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?

Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

Dog: Woof!

Butcher: Say less.

What did the fish say to the beach?

"Long tide, no see!"

What did the fox say to the fire?

You look hot!

What did God say when he created the first black person?

"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"