Say jokes

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?

"Windows shut down sound."

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"

So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

I just wanted to say, Prince, that that "qwen" you were chatting with is totally fake! I haven't talked to you all day, I swear!

I just wanted to say whoever is a faker pretending to be me, that you are literally ruining my life right now. And I can literally not take this right now in life and that I just want peace so please, please stop.

Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.

Apple: What?

Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!

What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?

He kicked the bucket.

What did the horse say when his throat was sore?

I have a hoarse throat!

They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

What did the funny bone say to the skin?

"You're not humerus, I am!"

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner!

What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"

What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?

"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Natyourcheese.

Natyourcheese who?

Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!