Say jokes
What did the flag say to the pole?
Nothing, he just waved.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
What did one orphan say to another?
"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
A man wakes up and asks his wife, “Are you okay? You were cursing me all night in your sleep.” The wife replies, “Who says I was sleeping?”
What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?
"You are not alone."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"