Say jokes

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Why can’t orphans eat cereal?

It says, "Family size."

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?

"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

What did Michael say to the boy in his room at sleepovers?

"You are not alone."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't toot when you put meat in it.

Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.