Say jokes

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

What did the rapper say to the vegetable?

"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

What did President Ford say when he met Betty?

"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

Nothing, planes can't talk.

What did the other traffic cone say to the other?

"Look away, I'm changing!"

A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"

What did Kobe say to the helicopter?

"Don't crash!"

What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"

How do you make an idiot say how?

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.