Say jokes
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
What did the sunglasses say to the banana?
Nothing, sunglasses can’t talk.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
Memes
What does a skeleton say when he has lots of work?
"I have a ton of work, skele-ton."
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
Why did the man say "hi ti bye?"
"I see, I see." "Oh, do you see?" "I see 1st place looking at me." "Hi, don’t be shy, just say hi." She was shy, she didn’t say hi. Softball cheers.
Why did the Red Sox lose?
They say, "Boo, Colorado Rockies."
What did the mom say to the baby?
What did the dog say to the other dog?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
What did the author say when he got a correct answer? "I got it right!"
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
What did the other traffic cone say to the other?
"Look away, I'm changing!"
What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"