Say jokes

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Why can’t orphans eat cereal?

It says, "Family size."

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"

I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...

What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?

That hit the spot!

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Cow said."

"Cow said who?"

"Cow says moo you ding dong!"

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

What did one droplet say to the other?

"Water you thinking?"

What did one orphan say to another?

"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"