Say jokes

What did the bulldozer say to the house?

"I wanna bulldoze houses!"

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Q: What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? A: Magic!

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

How to Make an Orphan cry

Step 1: Talk about Home.

Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.

Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!

Some boy says 100000 digits of pi, and this other dude can't even remember the 1st one.

What does Sonic say when he's bored?

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?

"Jit was lagging."

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

What did the O say to the other O?

O hi O (Ohio).

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.

Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

A: Bison.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

When does an Emo wake up in the morning? After the rooster says, "Cutadoodledo!"