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People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"
What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
What did one orphan say to another?
"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"
Memes
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
What did the bull say to the bullfighter?
What's the "matador?"
What does the beet DJ say when he's partying?
"Dance to the beet, y'all!"
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
When I try to call my friend, I can't get through because my name is Lin Kon, and the operator keeps saying, "Yes, Mr. President."
What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?
"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
What did the bus driver say to the lady with one leg?
Hop on.
So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."