Say jokes

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"

Fork off!

Hey, I'm Gwen. I just want to say I am speechless.

Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

What can't a sniper say to his wife?

"I missed you."

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What did a skeleton say when he's alone?

"I'm so bonely..."

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"

What did one droplet say to the other?

"Water you thinking?"

What did one orphan say to another?

"Robin, get in the Batmobile!"