Say jokes

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

What did Grant say? "I'm gay."

What did the slaves say when they met their soon-to-be masters?

"Aaah, a ghost!"

"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?

"Cya suckers!🍭"

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

What did the traffic light say to the other?

🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

What does the door say to the doorbell?

The door said: "You dingus!"

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."