What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
Say Jokes
Why did the Titanic sink? Because everyone played Simon Says!
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
What did the barbwire say to big foot? "My name is Jeff."
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
Wife, I look fat, can you compliment me?
Blind husband says, "You have perfect eyesight!"
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor!"
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
