Say jokes

What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?

"Cya suckers!🍭"

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"

Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.

My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

What did the traffic light say to the other?

🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!

Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

What does the door say to the doorbell?

The door said: "You dingus!"

A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

A man walks into his bedroom where his wife is carrying a sheep under her arm and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking."

Wife says, "That's not a pig; that's a sheep, dumbass."

Husband says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?

They'll say "yea."

What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

"Water exists."

Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"

What do you say to an emo's wrist?...

"I like ur cut G."