Saw Jokes

My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.

I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.

What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?

Your mum.

A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

I was at work yesterday and I saw this kid crying. I went up to him and asked him where his parents were, and he started to cry even more. Gosh, don't you just love working at the orphanage?

Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.

I know where you live! I saw you before!

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

I saw twins. I’m just waiting for those planes.

I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!

My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.