What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
America is filled with MAYO MONKEYS (you could make a mayo sandwich!).
A sandwich walks into a bar
Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?
A train driver's egg sandwich.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Bunger.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Sandwiches are yummy! 😋
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
